these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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