She said her name was "party"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
