Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
