I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i think im in europe. pls send help
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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