After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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