Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
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Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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