the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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