i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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