You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.