I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
