come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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