he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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