oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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