im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
