before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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