she pinky promised me she was 18
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
