Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
