I look better un-naked...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
