your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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