Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
