I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
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