hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I didn't notice because vodka
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
