Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She said her name was "party"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
