Your dad touched me again.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
