Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
