We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
