I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
