im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize