Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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