overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?