16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!