is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
