we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
