We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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