I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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