Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
