Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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