He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
