My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
