I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
