And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
