Sponge bath it is.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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