oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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