Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize