the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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