There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
