I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is Oprah even human
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
