Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
