So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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