i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
