The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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