We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I woke up under a house in Key West
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