you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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