Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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