I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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