She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Apparently you make a good broom.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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