Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
