LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
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stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
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you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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