how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
