Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
