if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
