yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
