before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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