The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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