He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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