so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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